So we're driving to the Utah/USU game on Saturday and someone suggests we learn the words to the Utah fight song ("Utah Man") to pass the time.
Have you ever heard this song? I'm sure most people here could hum the tune. (If you can't, just envision band members with trumpets jerking back and forth to the rhythm like they do at games.)
But the words? Have you ever looked at these words? Apart from "I am a Utah man" and "Go Utes," I think most members of the U community are ignorant of them. Here's a little play-by-play for you:
I am a Utah man, sir, and I live across the green,
Our gang it is the jolliest that you have ever seen.
Our coeds are the fairest; and each one's a shining star,
Our yell, you hear it ringing through the mountains near and far.
I'm sorry to have put you through that, but for those who survived, allow me to opine somewhat. There are those who would accuse the song of being sexist, given that it's clearly sung from the perspective of a male and overly emphasizes a female's looks to the point of being derogatory (You could also say the song is racist because it praises the women-folk for being "fair," thus subscribing to an Indo-European ideal of beauty that doesn't include brown women).
There are others on this campus who enjoy making those kind of accusations and criticisms more than I do, so I'll let them do it. I will, however, harp on the fact that THOSE LYRICS ARE SO LAME!
"Our gang it is the jolliest?" Would anyone describe the myriad of decentralized, disparate communities on this campus as a "gang"? Would anyone describe them as "jolly?" The only jolly I know is green and a giant. The only gang I know is Kool and the.
It gets worse. Here's the second verse:
We're up to snuff, we never bluff, we're game for any fuss.
No other gang of college men dare meet us in the muss.
So fill your lungs and sing it out and shout it to the sky,
We'll fight for dear ol' crimson for a Utah man am I!.
Help me, Rhonda! Up to snuff...game for any fuss...meet us in the muss? Muss isn't even a word! They just made it up to rhyme with fuss! The charlatan who wrote this nonsense belongs in front of a United Nations war crimes tribunal!
Anyway, I implore President Machen or the athletics department to commission someone to write a new Utah fight song. If they don't, Gov. Leavitt should call a special legislative session or exercise some executive powers.
Until then, here's my version of the Utah fight song. I guarantee you'll all be able to memorize this and regale your friends and family with it.
I am a Utah fan, sir, dah dah dah dah dah dah dah,
Dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah.
Dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah,
Dah dah dah dah dah dah dah; dah dah Utah fan am I!
Jared welcomes feedback at letters@chronicle.utah.edu.
