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Don't get me wrong. I love the Jazz. But let's face it: Over the years, there hasn't been much eye candy suiting up for Utah's favorite sports franchise.
Greg Ostertag wasn't exactly a dreamboat. The top of his head bizarrely poked out through his flat-top haircut. Other strange-looking specimens who have played for the Jazz over the years include Adam Keefe and Donyell Marshall.
Karl Malone had a receding hairline. John Stockton had a hairy neck. Among Jazz players listed on one blogger's all-time, NBA all-ugly team are Jeff Hornacek (he's adorable in my opinion) and Mark Eaton (I have to agree).
It's not the players' fault. Basketball players tend to be too overgrown for their own good. Many seem to be trapped in a perpetual puberty. Their long arms awkwardly hang by their sides. Of course, they also normally have three or four mascara-plastered blondes hanging at their sides too. Go figure.
There just haven't been many hotties on the Jazz in the franchise's nearly three decades of existence. Until now.
Ladies, meet Kyle Korver, the Jazz's new sharpshooter with Ashton Kutcher-esque good looks.
The 26-year-old cutie-patootie out of Creighton was recently acquired by the Jazz and has finally given female fans something to whistle about.
It's not hard to find Korver fans online.
"I'm the biggest Kyle Korver freak!!!!" writes one particularly enthusiastic Korver fanatic. "I am like totally obsessed!!!! I have exactly 335 pictures of him all around my room. He is so fricking gorgeous. I would love to meet him."
Another fan writes, "(Oh my God). Kyle Korver is gorgeous!!!! I love him so well! I have gone to every single Sixers home game just to see him. I have not been lucky enough to meet him, but hope to attend the Sixers' beach bash and meet him."
Poor girl. There will be no beach bash for her now that Korver has been traded to a landlocked state.
Apparently, it's been a tough couple of weeks for the women of Philadelphia who are mourning the loss of the 6-foot-6 shooting guard with the chiseled jaw and shaggy-chic haircut.
One sentimental fan posted a four-minute, still-photograph homage to Korver on YouTube. It's set to a weepy song with lyrics that, among other tear-jerker lines, include, "I never wanted you to leave. I wanted you to stay here holding me. I miss you. I miss your smile. I still shed a tear every once in a while."
Wow. I sure don't remember feeling that way when the Jazz traded anyone.
Their loss is Salt Lake City's gain. Finally, someone who makes the Jazz uniform look good.
"Look," one Korver fans writes, "I know Kyle Korver is hot, and a good three-point shooter. But people, Kyle is in a better place, and life goes on!"
Step aside, Osmond family. There's a new heartthrob in town.
n.dicou@chronicle.utah.edu
